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Gaslighting
/ˈɡæs.laɪ.tɪŋ/
A manipulative psychological tactic where someone makes a partner question their own sanity, memory, perception, or reality.
Etymology & origin
Derived from the 1938 play and 1944 film 'Gaslight', where a husband systematically convinces his wife she is going mad.
✦ Relationship psychology
A highly toxic behavior used to gain power and control in a relationship. By destabilizing the victim's trust in their own senses, the manipulator makes the victim dependent on their version of reality.
Live texting example
It really hurt my feelings when you ignored me to flirt with your ex at the party last night.
What are you talking about? You are completely fabricating things. I barely spoke to her. You're just being incredibly insecure and crazy, like always.
But I saw you holding her hand...
You were seeing things because you've been so stressed lately. You need to get help.
Boundary guide: how to respond
- 1Trust your own memory and observations. Write down key events immediately if you start doubting yourself.
- 2Refuse to argue over facts you know are true. 'I know what I saw, and I'm not going to debate my own reality with you.'
- 3Disengage and seek external support. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse. Consider exiting the relationship safely.
#manipulation#toxic#control#emotional abuse
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